Hello! My name is Tiffany and I am 36 years old.
Mary’s Refuge is the first stable home I have ever had, a safe space to raise my 2-month-old son, Jaxen.
I’ve been through a lot. I was homeless at 15 years old. I was an addict and spent most of my life in and out of jail. I overdosed 19 times and developed epilepsy as a result. I had no support and no real friends.
I got sober once and lived in a tent for a year behind a park in Maryland while pregnant with my second child. No one would help me, not even people at churches. My family brought me blankets, but wouldn’t help in any other way.
I was so discouraged because nobody seemed to care. I gave up on life and – even worse – I gave up on myself. Everything changed on Christmas Day three years ago. I was living in an abandoned house with my niece, who was 21 at the time. We were both heroin addicts, but she was spiraling and I needed to show her there was a way out of our destructive lives. There were three warrants out for my arrest, so I called the police and told them where I was, knowing that was my only route to sobriety.
I have been sober for 2 ½ years and my niece has been sober for one. It makes me feel good that I motivated her to find a healthier path for her life.
When I found out I was pregnant with Jaxen, I was absolutely terrified. I lacked a support system, resources and a stable home, but there was no question that I wanted to bring him into the world and provide him with a life much better than I was given. For the first half of my pregnancy, I was homeless, then I moved into a local women’s shelter before hearing about Mary’s Refuge, into which I moved in early 2023.
I spent the first week at the refuge crying as I was told about all the help the program could provide to lead me toward independence and be the best possible mother for my son. I am now the night matron there.
At Mary’s Refuge, I have support and people who truly care, food every day and a comfy bed.
Most importantly, I have a chance to be a mom. Motherhood to me is more than giving birth. It’s loving a soul before you even see it. It’s meeting their every need before you even hold them. It’s sleepless nights. It’s being protective. It’s teaching them while they also teach you. Being a mother to me is the greatest accomplishment I’ll ever have and the most fulfilling adventure I could ever ask for. It’s full of joy and amazement.
I have little time to myself, take an hour to get ready to go anywhere and am on his schedule most of the time. I get spit up on and my hair gets pulled, but I also get a look from him of pure love. I get cuddles and joy and so much happiness that can’t be contained. I also get the best motivation to better my life and give him more opportunities than I ever had.
Being a mother gave me a reason not just to live, but thrive.
I received recovery coach professional certification, which means I am certified to mentor and coach individuals through any kind of trauma and goal setting. I was invited to the state capital in March for Recovery Day to accept an award for having the most volunteer hours through a nonprofit organization called Grace.
I am a full-time student at Blue Ridge Community and Technical College, where I am studying to become an addictions counselor.
I enrolled Jaxen in West Virginia Birth to Three, through which he works with a specialist to help him reach developmental milestones. He also is enrolled in EPIC Early Head Start.
I have a lot on my plate, but I want to take full advantage of all the opportunities I have at Mary’s Refuge while I can.
Mary’s Refuge saved my life and gave my son everything he needs. This place, these people, restored my hope in humanity.
Are you a mother-to-be who feels like they’re not being listened to, have nowhere to turn, and have no safe place to be?
Mary’s Refuge is a sanctuary for young expectant mothers who need a hand up. Our community-building program provides a stable, safe place to live during pregnancy, access to resources for prenatal care and counseling, along with career and educational opportunities. Applicants must be clean and sober, currently pregnant, and have no debilitating medical issues. Feel free contact us online using our confidential form or call us directly at 304.350.1632. We service Martinsburg, WV and the surrounding areas.